I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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