Jerry, you need to find god
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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