Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
