so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
