We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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