So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
