Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize