ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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