I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
