apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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