So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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