what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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