Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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