How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
