I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
