how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I fill condoms, not promises.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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