very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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