Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?