i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If its not for food we ain't going out.