Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
