You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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