that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
