I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize