Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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