I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
