OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
