I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
