the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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