i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
