this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Everclear isn't food dammit