How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp