You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.