I feel like abortions should bother me more
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
time to smoke my breakfast
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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