rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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