i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize