So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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