Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
