and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
