im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
