What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
