You were right. It hurts to walk today.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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