My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
