This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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