Say something about gay babies.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
