Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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