so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
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