If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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