Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize