I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
