Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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