She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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