is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
