ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
