Sry I called you an 8
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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