Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
