I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
