he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
