I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
