dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's blow job season.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
