Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize