y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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