The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
