The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you would pick up someone in the library
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
