maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
