I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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