I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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