Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
