So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She needs sedatives and a leash
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
