Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
