he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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