I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
