yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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