No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
