With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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