is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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