Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
