We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
